The world is crawling with soccer teams. You know a few of them: the teams in your favorite league, the big teams from the world’s big leagues. But those are just a drop in the bucket. There are hundreds more out there. Thousands.

And some of them have the coolest crests you’ve ever seen. Crests that deserve a wider audience. Crests that belong on a t-shirt.

Each month we scout the farthest reaches of the world and bring you four fabulous football team logos. Then they fight it out, from group stage to final match, based on your votes. You help crown the winner, selecting which crest is worthy to become our next limited edition shirt.

So far we’ve gone through one tournament, so there’s one winner that you can buy on a t-shirt (for a limited time): the really sharp crest for South Africa’s Thanda Royal Zulu FC.

And another tournament is ongoing right now (there will always be a tournament ongoing . As of this writing we have cool crests from Thailand, Italy, Democratic Republic of the Congo and El Salvador.

Check it out and vote for your favorites. It’s free, easy and only takes a minute or two. On the 22nd of this month (and every month) the tournament enters the final stage, where you can vote again on the two favorite crests from the original four.

I’m having a lot of fun with this — don’t miss the FC Shirts United blog for even more cool logos from around the world — and I hope you will, too. Vote, spread the word, and enjoy.

While the Aztex were the latest soccer team in Austin, I’m not alone in believing that they weren’t the last. To keep up with what supporters are doing to encourage a new team to come to town, Eberly’s Army (formerly “Chantico’s Army”) is the absolutely best place to go.

Another group you should know about is the Austin chapter of the American Outlaws, supporters of the U.S. national teams.

If you want to help keep the soccer flame burning in Austin, join one or both of these groups. See you there!

My message is as short as it is predictable: thanks. Thanks for the good times, thanks for the beer, thanks for the hilarious chants, thanks for welcoming me in.

I’m done now, both with these post-mortem writings, and with this blog. Though I sometimes covered things other than the Aztex – UT, Pelada, WPS – those were all just extras. I was using my little soapbox to promote a few side things that I thought might be of interest to Aztex and Division-2 fans. But this blog isn’t the CentralTexasMiscellanean, it’s the Aztexan. No Aztex, no Aztexan.

Who knows what will happen with pro soccer in Austin now. I go back and forth between being certain that it will be a long, long time before anyone even tries again, to wondering if the crazy schemers on the BigSoccer Aztex forum who are talking about a community-owned team might actually be able to pull something off.

If and when there’s a team to watch again, you’ll be able to find me in the bleachers at their games. I’ll be the one lost in the beauty of the game, transported to a place a million miles away from the pain of this week.

Until this sudden development, Aztex fans thought we already had worries enough at the league level. Namely, we didn’t know which one the team would be in. Nor were we alone, as the threat of another winter in limbo loomed over all the USSF-Division 2 teams, except the MLS-bound Vancouver and Portland. That threat still looms, for people that still have teams in their city.

USSF had laid down the law about minimum standards for future second division leagues, NASL had applied to be sanctioned as that league in 2011 even though they fall woefully short of the standards, and USL had given them both the finger as they attempted an end run around the whole mess with USL PRO (aka the LEAGUE where EVERY second WORD is SHOUTED for NO apparent REASON).

That’s a little background; here we go.

NASL and USL, you two incompetent douchebags, you’re a disgrace to the sport. Your combined ineptitude has stunted soccer’s growth in this country like a 6-year-old smoking a pack of Marlboros a day. I know you claim that you’re working for what’s best for the sport, but I just double-checked, and YOU ARE NOT. What’s obvious to everyone is that what you’re really working for is yourselves, and your little fiefdoms, and your goddamned franchise fees.

That was a dig at you, Francisco Marcos, did you get that? Yeah yeah, yay for you for keeping the flame burning through the long dark years after the original NASL bit the dust. Congratulations, thanks, here’s a Certificate of Appreciation from 1998. Now pull your money-grubbing fist out of everyone’s back pocket and piss off. Come on, you’ll be okay. Maybe you can write a book in your retirement: How To Build A Profitable Business Based on Your Franchisees’ Constant Failures. Or, One Man’s 75% Failure Rate is Another Man’s 25% Success Rate. Maybe you can get a cameo as a vampire in the next Twilight movie.

And by the way, take your ridiculous fucking I-League with you, jackass. Like we need new niches and additional fragmentation.

Now your turn, NASL. Poor, crazy NASL. Damn, I hardly have the heart to attack you, now that we’ve both been shafted by Mr. Rawlins. Still, I’ll always have some small black place in my heart for you, for shattering USL-1 in the first place. You were like the greedy kid trying to wrestle the candy jar out of the grown-up’s hands. Fighting, pulling, screeching — and then, the jar slips from both your hands and smashes on the floor. No candy for anyone now, genius.

Speaking of grown-ups, how about that USSF? Great job you’re doing with Division 2, USSF (he said, dripping with so much sarcasm that he had to wipe off his screen with a sponge).

Did you really think those new standards would be helpful? It’s as if I saw my kids were failing in school, and I told them: okay! Time to shape up! Straight As by this time next semester, and get part-time jobs while you’re at it, or I’m kicking you both out of the house. Okay, then, that’s settled; you’re welcome!

I know you’re busy up at Soccer House, bribing FIFA executive committee members (good luck on that part, actually; let me know if I can pitch in) and planning the U.S.’ semifinal loss to Ghana in Brazil in 2014 and everything, but this is important, too. You’re supposed to be building soccer in this country. America is a world power in just about every imaginable measure but this one. And it’s the same story year after year, decade after decade, despite the bajillions of kids who suit up for little league soccer each season. So although we have huge quantities of raw material, we still get knocked out of the World Cup by countries whose GDP wouldn’t cover the down payment on Sunil Gulati’s car.

And MLS! Yoo-hoo! MLS? Over here! You’re not getting out of this. You know I love you, MLS. I mean it, you’re the man (sexist yet accurate anthropomorphism; +1). But you kind of suck, too. I know you’ve had to be selfish. Your prime directive has been survival at all costs. But cherry-picking the best second division markets, without contributing anything back to help cultivate future crops, that sucks. USL/NASL/USSF-D2/WTFL is not getting any stronger by losing Seattle, and Portland, and Vancouver, and Montreal. Once those are gone, where will you go next? Orlando? Come on, I’m trying to be serious here.

Hey, listen. I’m just a dope of a fan. I’m obviously not as clued in to the goings-on in the soccer world around me as I think I am (self-deprecating reference to my team moving 1,000 miles away before I hardly knew it, did you get that?). But jesus, is it really so hard? There’s a bunch of fans that aren’t in MLS markets, there’s a bunch of MLS reserve players who need to play if they’re ever going to get off the bench, there’s a bunch of college-age kids who need to play during the summer to keep their game up, there’s a bunch of in-between guys who want to play and will be happy with a semi-/minor-pro situation.

It just seems to me that if you all really gave a shit about the game, you’d find a way to figure it out. Until you do, the only games that will be perfected are the ones Mr. Rawlins plays when he flips cities overnight, and whatever crazy shit those Cosmos people are up to in New York, and the greasy shuck and jive Jeff Cooper pulled in St. Louis, and on and on, ad nauseam.

I’m torn, honestly. I’ve already gone public with my wishes for Orlando’s fate, which were not charitable wishes. Yet I can’t help but feel some pity, too. I was once as you, starry-eyed and hopeful, never dreaming of how badly it would end here.

And if you’re soccer fans, you’re still my brethren (and sistren). I can’t stand the Dynamo or their fans, either, but I’d take them over your typical NFL knucklehead any day of the week.

In that spirit of brother- (and sister-) hood, here are a few pitfalls to watch out for when dealing with a Rawlins-run soccer franchise.

• Never, ever pay full face value for tickets — They ran so many specials, especially on those social coupon sites like Groupon, and gave away so many freebies, that fans who exclusively used those here in Austin made out better, even, than season ticket holders.

• Don’t buy season tickets — See the previous note, as far as as any savings you might get. But still, you might be tempted to buy season tickets to “show your support”, just as many of us (granted, apparently not enough of us) did here.

  That would seem to make sense, wouldn’t it? Seems like it would give the organization the assurance of a certain number of committed fans, right? Well, it turns out that you might as well keep your money in your account until game day. According to Mr. Rawlins’ quote in the Austin American-Statesman, season tickets don’t actually amount to jack shit:

  Asked why season-ticket holders weren’t made aware of the team’s financial struggles, Rawlins said: “Why would they be? When you’re talking about investment on the scale and the range we’re talking about, you’re talking about investment from business people and executives in the community, not a season-ticket holder.”

• Don’t join whatever premium fan club thing they cook up — Buy a t-shirt or scarf or stadium seat or whatever freebie they offer separately (if you even want it), and keep the hundred bucks. And don’t be tempted by offers of an exclusive online forum as part of the package. BigSoccer has its flaws, but it has one big upside as far as online message boards go: there are more than five posts per season there.

• Don’t take the brown acid — The brown acid that is circulating around us is not specifically too good. It’s suggested that you do stay away from that. Of course it’s your own trip, so be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, okay? Wait, sorry; scratch this one, I was thinking of something else entirely.

• Don’t think the owners are your friends — The Rawlinses are very nice, very charming people. They and the other investors will probably be very visible to fans, and you may meet them. By all means, enjoy that, it’s part of the fun. Just be sure to keep one thing in mind: despite the very friendly demeanor, they are not your friends. They’re the owners of a business, and you’re a customer. Nothing more.

  They’re like an Applebee’s franchisee, say. And you never know, they may have to close the one in your neighborhood, so that they can open another one the next town over, by the highway and the Wal-Mart. If so, don’t expect any special treatment because of any “friendship” with them, because there is no such thing. Nothing personal! It’s just business.

• Don’t volunteer — Of course, the whole reason the franchise moved to Orlando was the piles of money waiting for them there, so surely they won’t have to ask a bunch of poor slobs to help run their business for them. The owners are millionaires, after all, and they’re shooting for the big leagues.

  But if they do, somehow, have the cojones to ask for volunteer help, don’t be a sucker. If you want to help people, find an actual charity to do it for, not a for-profit business venture. In the meantime, if they need more help selling lukewarm bottles of Powerade for $5 at the concession stand, then let them come back early from vacationing at their house in Portugal to do it.

All right! With these handy tips, you’re ready to go! Once next season rolls around, just pack the wife (or husband) and kids in the minivan and head on out to join 69,996 of your fellow Beautiful City Beautiful Soccer Club Beauty fans at the spacious! the capacious! the rapacious! the pretty much ideal stadium you have there for a Division 3 expansion team: the Citrus Bowl.

Go visitors!

Dear Phil and Kay,

There’s a saying that it’s better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all. Perhaps there’s some wisdom there, though it’s harder to see it when you’re still lying on the floor after being dumped.

I readily acknowledge that I had a lot of good times, and met a lot of good folks, thanks to the soccer team you brought here. And I knew I was lucky to have all of that at the time; I know I’ve thanked you for it more than once.

But.

But it wasn’t all for my benefit. I gave, too. I gave a lot. Even leaving aside this blog, even as “just” a supporter, I felt invested in this club, the same way all the supporters did. We believed in it. We told everyone we could about it. We talked it up, and we also talked down the shortcomings. Yes the game’s on an astroturf high school football field, but it’s okay, the play is really good, the atmosphere is great, come with me, check it out, I’ll buy you a beer before the game, just try it.

We put your logo on our cars. We wore your shirts and jerseys all over town, looking for a flash of interest from coworkers or strangers at the store, hoping for a chance to tell them there’s a soccer team in Austin. Hey, there’s a game this weekend, you should come, it’s a blast, you’ll love it.

We huddled around laptops and wired them to TVs under the gaze of puzzled bartenders, trying to watch a shitty, buffering video feed from halfway across the country. No, sorry, Barcelona’s on that TV over there, this is our hometown team, they’re in Montreal, no we don’t know why they keep showing that fucking train.

In doing all those things, we were investing. We were paying in, we were contributing in some way. They weren’t big things, but they’re how — well, we thought they were how — a soccer city would be built. A fan at a time. A thrilling last-minute goal. A ball kid. A playoff game. A scarf. We wanted to build the soccer city, just like you wanted to build the soccer city. We thought we were building it with you. We thought it would be your soccer city, and we thought it would be ours, too.

We knew it wouldn’t happen right away, and we knew it wouldn’t be perfect for a while. We wanted to buy beer at games just as badly as you wanted to sell it to us. We hated those goddamned gridiron lines just as much as you did. But we put up with what we had now. We did more than that, we loved it. And that was part of our investment, too.

Like with all investments, we hoped they would pay off someday. We hoped we’d see our boys go on to bigger teams, like Eddie did. I saw him, we could say. I saw him play at House Park, 12th and Lamar, year before last. By the way, there’s another game next Saturday, you should come, you never know which player will be big, we have this amazing rookie this year, he’s on fire, check it out.

But our investment, it’s gone now. We put in, and like I said, we had a lot of fun doing it. But that part where we thought we were building something, where we’d have a return on that investment someday, something for our city, for our friends, for our kids, for the sport we love, that part is gone.

No, it’s worse than gone. It’s a debt, now. Where before we had pride in the team and talked it up, now it’s an embarrassment, a shame. We’re suckers now, chumps. All the people who heard our pitch for the team and thought, either openly or themselves, “whatever, soccer’s stupid, nobody likes soccer, that will never last,” — god I hate those people — they were right. They were right! You made those hateful, ignorant bastards right!

Maybe the support we gave wasn’t enough. Maybe it was puny, laughable. I’ll admit it, our ranks were pretty thin sometimes. Maybe it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the support you thought you’d get, or needed to get, or thought you needed to get, or whatever. I can’t speak to what didn’t happen, and I can’t speak for the people who didn’t show up at games.

I can only speak for myself, and this theft of my investment is what makes me mad. It might have been easier to swallow if you’d handled the whole thing with a little more grace, if you’d shown some respect for what we’ve given. It still would have sucked, it still would have sucked really bad, and we would still lose that investment, but maybe some respect wouldn’t have left the city’s and the fan’s reputations in smoldering ruins.

Anyway. Let’s cut to the chase: here’s what I hope for your future endeavors.

I hope Orlando The City Beautiful City Soccer City Club SC or whatever the fuck it’s called is an unmitigated disaster, on and off the field.

I don’t hold any enmity for coach Heath or the players, but they play for the wrong team now, in my book. Players get traded to hated rivals all the time, and fans don’t start loving that club, they hate them all the more. True, it’s usually one, maybe two players, not the entire damn squad, and yes, it’s usually to an existing club instead of a team that barely exists, but the point remains. Trade up to a real team, boys, that’s all I can say. I hope Orlando’s record over the first 30 games is 0-30-0.

I hope the whole Mickey Mouse league sucks, and your attendance sucks, and Donner skips town with half the money to start a new club in Idaho, and the other investors drop out, and that a giant sinkhole swallows whatever football stadium you’re trying to drag those poor Floridians into. I hope you burn every last cent of money from any sucker you can find, yours first, and that your ridiculous, quixotic quest for an MLS franchise in that godforsaken hellhole is as fruitless as trying to get a waitress’ attention at The Tavern.

Second note to the reader: Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Stay tuned (or don’t, that’s fine by me) for Letter #2, To: Orlando.

10/25/2010 12:00 PM -

AUSTIN, Texas (www.austinaztex.com) — It was confirmed today that the Austin Aztex have accepted an offer from a UK led consortium to acquire the Aztex USL franchise, which involves the relocation of the team to the City of Orlando, Fla.

“We have been actively seeking to broaden the investment base for the Aztex for the past 12 months. It has proven extremely difficult given the economic climate,” Aztex President Phil Rawlins said. “Our first and overriding preference was always to keep the Aztex in Austin. But after we exhausted all our options this has not proven possible.”

“I know the new investors very well — they are football people and have been interested in working with us for some time. They like what we have achieved on the field and in the community,” he continued. “However, they made it very clear that their investment was contingent upon the team relocating, citing Austin’s lack of a soccer specific stadium with any corporate facilities, the inability to sell alcohol at games and the geographical isolation of the team within the new USL-Pro League. In short, they didn’t see Central Texas as the right market for the team and their future plans.”

And into the picture walked the Orlando.

“Together with the City of Orlando, the new owners approached us about relocating the franchise to Central Florida. As much as we would have loved to keep the Aztex here, it’s proven impossible to find local business leaders who are willing to invest alongside us and who believed in this market.”

The team will relocate in time for the beginning of the 2011 season and will play in the new USL-Pro League. Head Coach Adrian Heath and all the retained players will be making the move with the team.

“This is a very, very bittersweet decision for us. The fans in Austin have given us fantastic backing and fully deserve pro soccer. I know many of our fans and their families personally and they will know that our decision to relocate has been taken with a very heavy heart. I know many people will be bitterly disappointed but we have been left with no local options of backing.”

“I would like to thank all the loyal Aztex fans for their support over the past three years. However, the new investors made it very difficult for us to turn down their offer. They bring much needed additional capital, expertise and connections. They have plans to add another professional sports team to the franchise which will give us year round revenue potential. Their goal is to build up the soccer operations so that we can pursue an MLS franchise in the next few years.”

No need for a “read it all” link, that’s the whole thing. I’m crushed, but after a weekend waiting to be crushed, honestly a little relieved, too.

I’ll have another post or two of my own here to wrap things up in the coming days, as I process what’s happened and work the bile out.

Austin is a classic example of what detractors call “the franchise model”: the idea that sports clubs should be moved from community to community based on whichever community is willing to offer the largest incentive. Most soccer fans rail against it furiously, and back in England Milton Keynes‘s club has never been accepted after the city stole the old Wimbledon team to satisfy their ambitions [Wikipedia history lesson - ed.]. But Portsmouth‘s example, one of an owner who buys a club to be a billionaire celebrity rather than for love of the sport or the city, is no less dangerous. Whether the club is moved to Orlando or wound up, it is cut off from the fans who raised it up and cherished it.

Just two years ago, Austin owner Phil Rawlins rang in his new club by saying “My goal is to make the Aztex a community-based club that the Austin area can be proud of.” Pulling up stakes and taking his team to Florida after two years of decent, growing attendance and a competitive team is not exactly compatible with that aim. Rawlins was born in England and in fact sits on the board for Stoke City: presumably he’s heard a thing or two about the franchise debate in England. The idea that he’d try to emulate it is appalling.

Read it all.

Note: There will be a 1:00 PM CT press conference in Orlando on Monday, Oct. 25, revealing details of the new USL PRO team there. Aztex fans will gather at Mister Tramps on 183 at 6:00 PM CT to, well, we’re 100% not sure yet. Sob inconsolably, probably.

It’s likely USL will announce next week that Rawlins has found new investors from outside the US and will move to Orlando and join the USL Pro League. They will also form a relationship with Steve Donner, formerly with the Rochester Rhinos and the Orlando Titans Lacrosse team.

As previously stated (more than once), I don’t deal in rumors here. However, the frenzy that quickly broke out on blogs, Twitter and the Aztex BigSoccer forum was met with deafening silence from the Aztex front office all day.

Until, finally, this content-free statement:

“The organization is aware of the rumors that have been circulating about the future direction of the Aztex. In these difficult economic times, the ownership group has been working hard to pursue additional investors to secure the long-term future of the club and continues to do so. At this point in time, there is nothing concrete to report on that front, but we will continue to pursue all of our options and will make an announcement as soon as anything is solidified.”

Without actual, concrete news to report, I hesitate to further spread the panic many of us feel at the prospect of losing pro soccer in Austin. But while nothing is official yet, that non-denial statement from the Aztex cannot be ignored.

I fear the worst, and am plumbing new depths of the phrase “gutted” tonight. Rumor has it that an official announcement will be made on Monday, so I either need to move on to the next stage of grief or seriously stock up on liquor for a long weekend.

I’ll refrain from writing more until I have more (any?) facts to bring you.

Our Game Magazine — Leah Fortune update

In the July 2010 issue of Our Game, we featured 20-year-old American, Leah Fortune, who played for the Brazilian U-20 Women’s National Team. A redshirt freshman at the University of Texas, Fortune is second on the team in scoring this fall with four goals and four assists in 13 games. But last Monday, she made a difficult choice. She withdrew from the University of Texas. She did so because she was called up to the Brazilian Women’s National Team to compete at the 2010 Sudamericano Femenino, CONMEBOL’s 2011 World Cup qualifiers.

See pages 14-16 of the July issue of this online women’s soccer magazine for the story of how this promising young player with dual citizenship came to be joining Brazil on their journey to next year’s World Cup in Germany. I’m glad I was able to see her when I attended a Longhorns game earlier this season.